Essay revision II

1. As a group, work together to draft the introduction, or opening paragraph, of the response. 1. Hook: draw in reader 2. Prompt: restate prompt 3. Thesis/Claim – It is your position or opinion in the form of an OBJECTIVE (no I think) claim that addresses the problem and solution 4. Explanation of Claim/lead-in – 2. First body paragraph (5) Topic Sentence (6) Evidence/Quote 1 – The article reads, “______________________” (citation) (7) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (8) Evidence/Quote 2 – “_______________________,” stated source _________ (citation). (9) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (10) Evidence/Quote 3 – Source ____ states, “__________________________________”(citation) (11) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (12) Refer back to topic Sentence and claim/Transition to next paragraph 3. Second body paragraph (13) Topic Sentence (14) Evidence/Quote 1 – The article reads, “______________________” (citation) (15) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (16) Evidence/Quote 2 – “_______________________,” stated source _________ (citation). (17) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (18) Evidence/Quote 3 – Source ____ states, “__________________________________”(citation) (19) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (20) Refer back to topic Sentence and claim/Transition to next paragraph 3. Third body paragraph (21) Topic Sentence (22) Evidence/Quote 1 – The article reads, “______________________” (citation) (23) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (24) Evidence/Quote 2 – “_______________________,” stated source _________ (citation). (25) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (26) Evidence/Quote 3 – Source ____ states, “__________________________________”(citation) (27) Warrant/explanation – quote in own words and why is quote relevant/how does it support claim? This could be 2/3 sentences (28) Refer back to topic Sentence and claim/Transition to next paragraph 4. Conclusion (29) Summarize Paper (30) Restate Thesis/Claim (31) Offer Final Thoughts First paragraph 1. The purpose of this sentence is to get the readers’ attention YOUR FIRST SENTENCE GOES HERE 2. The purpose of this sentence is to restate the prompt YOUR SECOND SENTENCE GOES HERE 3. The purpose of this sentence is to give me your thesis statement YOUR THESIS STATEMENT GOES HERE 4. The purpose of this sentence is to explain your thesis statement. YOUR EXPLANATION GOES HERE Second paragraph 1. The purpose of this sentence is to restate the prompt while adding your first piece of evidence YOUR FIRST SENTENCE GOES HERE 2. THe purpose of this sentence is to include a quote from the story that supports the topic sentence 3. The purpose of this sentence is to explain why you chose the quote 4. The purpose of this sentence is to include a quote from the story that supports the topic sentence 5. The purpose of this sentence is to explain why you chose the quote 6. Refer back to topic Sentence and claim/Transition to next paragraph Third paragraph 1. The purpose of this sentence is to restate the prompt while adding your first piece of evidence YOUR FIRST SENTENCE GOES HERE 2. THe purpose of this sentence is to include a quote from the story that supports the topic sentence 3. The purpose of this sentence is to explain why you chose the quote 4. The purpose of this sentence is to include a quote from the story that supports the topic sentence 5. The purpose of this sentence is to explain why you chose the quote 6. Refer back to topic Sentence and claim/Transition to next paragraph Third paragraph 1. The purpose of this sentence is to restate the prompt while adding your first piece of evidence YOUR FIRST SENTENCE GOES HERE 2. THe purpose of this sentence is to include a quote from the story that supports the topic sentence 3. The purpose of this sentence is to explain why you chose the quote 4. The purpose of this sentence is to include a quote from the story that supports the topic sentence 5. The purpose of this sentence is to explain why you chose the quote 6. Refer back to topic Sentence and claim/Transition to next paragraph Fourth paragraph 1. The purpose of this sentence is to restate the prompt while adding your first piece of evidence YOUR FIRST SENTENCE GOES HERE 2. THe purpose of this sentence is to include a quote from the story that supports the topic sentence 3. The purpose of this sentence is to explain why you chose the quote 4. The purpose of this sentence is to include a quote from the story that supports the topic sentence 5. The purpose of this sentence is to explain why you chose the quote 6. Refer back to topic Sentence and claim/Transition to next paragraph Conclusion 1. Summarize Paper 2. Restate Thesis/Claim 3. Offer Final Thoughts

Essay revision I

ON ONE SHEET OF PAPER: Blank outline from my website ON ANOTHER SHEET OF PAPER: Your outline (be sure that this is stapled to the blank outline) ON ANOTHER SHEET OF PAPER: Your revised paper ON ANOTHER PAPER: Answers to the following questions ON ANOTHER PAPER: Complete the graphic organizer using your thesis statement…explain the need for a claim 1. Count the number of transitions you used. Write down each of the transitions you used, where in the essay you used it and its meaning. 2. What definition strategies did you use? Where in the essay did you use them? Define the definition strategy you used. 3. Did you complete the graphic organizer for writing effective thesis statements? Is it stapled to your essay? Is your thesis statement parallel? In your conclusion, did you restate the thesis statement from your intro? 4. Did you use MLA style? You can select MLA style when you are creating your document. 5. Did you restate the prompt in the first sentence of each body paragraph? 6. Does each body paragraph have at least two quotes to support the topic sentence? 7. Did you submit the outline (which can be found on my website)? 8. Do the quotes that you chose for your body paragraphs support each topic sentence?

Warmup 9/29

Warmup 9/27

47. A. NO CHANGE B. undercuts any demanders C. undercut any demand D. and undercut the demand 48. F. NO CHANGE G. the daringest H. the most daring from J. the more daring to 49. A. NO CHANGE B. design of construction of the elevator C. elevator's design D. elevator 50. F. NO CHANGE G. if the cable had broken. H. when the cable was breaking. J. had there been a cable break. 51. A. NO CHANGE B. whom is C. whose D. his

Warmup 9/26

61. A. NO CHANGE B. is about C. are of D. are 62. F. NO CHANGE G. blooming, H. were bloomed, J. bloomed, 63. A. NO CHANGE B. arrived coming by C. arrived primarily by D. arrived through 64. F. NO CHANGE G. Due to its H. Because of there J. Owing to their 65. A. NO CHANGE B. --the yellow taxi is the most convenient way to get around in Manhattan. C. --the yellow taxi is ubiquitous in Manhattan D. OMIT the underlined portion and end the sentence with a period.

Warmup 9/23

1. A. NO CHANGE B. his C. which D. whose 2. F. NO CHANGE G. whose H. who J. that 3. A. NO CHANGE B. who C. whom D. OMIT the underlined portion 4. F. NO CHANGE G. Morisot's H. his J. the time of

Warmup 9/22

1. A. NO CHANGE B. complication process C. process that is a big complication D. complicatedest process 2. F. NO CHANGE G. exorbitance H. exorbitant J. exorbitantly 3. A. NO CHANGE B. harder C. a hardest thing D. very hard 4. F. NO CHANGE G. greatly decreased. H. decrease greatly. J. decreased greater. 5. A. NO CHANGE B. bad enough, C. more bad, D. badder enough,